The following is an excerpt Take the Gift it’s Yours from my new book Our Spiritual Awakening Thank you for reading.
For most of my life I felt guilty, embarrassed, and undeserving when someone gave me a gift. I developed these emotions during my childhood due to the way I was treated by my dad. For example, if I brought an item home someone gave to me, my dad and I would walk over to the person’s house so he could make sure I hadn’t stolen the item. Most times I was told to give it back because I wasn’t allowed to accept gifts I didn’t earn and deserve. And because the way I felt was a problem—Spirit kept placing me into different gift receiving situations to help me release my negative feelings. However, after several years I still couldn’t completely let go of the guilt. It was then I had the following healing dream.
In this dream I had my black rectangular camera bag over my right shoulder as I was walking through a brightly lit room filled with candy displays. The walls and floors glowed with light even though there were no light fixtures. As I passed a six foot tall round carousel candy display with several bins, my bag slammed into one of the bins and it fell forward spilling out the green, red, purple, and blue wrapped candy onto the floor. I was horrified and felt obligated to pay for the spilled candy.
It was then a smiling woman approached in a white flowing gown. She began picking up the candy off the shiny clean white floor and refilling the bin. I sat down my camera bag and as I bent over to help clean up the mess, she lifted her hand up, smiled, and said “It is okay, you don’t need to help.” So I stood back up and watched her pick up the rest of the candy.
When she was finished she pulled the bin out from the carousel, looked at me still smiling, and said, “Follow me.” I left my camera bag sitting on the floor and followed her to a counter. I stopped in front of the counter as she went behind it and set the bin on the counter top. She then turned around and tore off a large square piece of green wrapping paper from a roll attached to a white wall, and laid the paper down on the counter. She next poured out all the candy from the bin onto the paper, pulled up the corners, and tied the paper with a red bow. The package looked like it weighed fifteen pounds.
My eyes grew wide with concern about how I was going to pay for the candy. I reached into my right pants pocket and pulled out one nickel and two pennies. “All I have is seven cents,” I said as I handed the lady the coins. It was then I recognized her as an angel.
“Keep it because money is a spiritual gift from God and the universe.” She said still smiling. She then picked up the bundle of candy and walked around the counter and handed it to me and said, “Keep it, it’s yours. You deserve it. You don’t have to pay for it.” I took the candy, which did not feel heavy, and said thank you. I woke up feeling good about myself and thanked Spirit for the message.
So now when someone give me a gift, no matter how big or small—it makes me happy because I know it’s God’s way of showing me how worthy and deserving I am of all the gifts that come my way. Amen.